Just 2 things, Ryan…
You don’t have to say “fiction novel.” The fiction part is implied by the word “novel”.
Why is this book in the Port Authority bathroom
UPDATE: I have learned that it is in every Port Authority bathroom, so I suppose that answers #2, while also raising new questions
[ BOOKWAR ]

Just 2 things, Ryan

  1. You don’t have to say “fiction novel.” The fiction part is implied by the word “novel”.
  2. Why is this book in the Port Authority bathroom

UPDATE: I have learned that it is in every Port Authority bathroom, so I suppose that answers #2, while also raising new questions

[ BOOKWAR ]

Ryan North has had a lot of fun lately making up book covers about me and the Star Tracks, but do you want to know what I think?
I think he’s just jealous because he can’t enjoy a piece of media without obsessively noticing, and then cataloging, every usage of English grammar that varies even the slightest from some imaginary perfect standard he’s obsessed with! Ryan, you have a DEGREE IN LINGUISTICS. I’d think you, OF ALL PEOPLE, would take a descriptivist view of language! But just check out THIS TRUE EXCERPT from this book I found in an abandoned nautical library:

Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Season 1 (1983)
Episode 1:
1:31: Amanda King: “I’ll be right back thank you dear” – Run-on sentence.
4:22: Amanda King: “Man in the red hat…man in the red hat.” – Sentence fragment.
10:48: Amanda King: “You certainly will not!” – Sentence fragment.
16:03: Lee Stetson: “Champagne?” – Sentence fragment.
16:59: Lee Stetson: “I’m sorry that this is…” – Sentence fragment.
17:37: Amanda King: “I just almost did the dumbest thing with your package.” – Awkward phrasing.
27:31: Amanda King: “Valley Forge flapjacks, pilgrim’s peach puff.” – Sentence fragment.

And on and on and on like this for – according to the cover – every piece of fiction between 1960 and 2010!
Let me tell you people: the type in this book is TINY
[ BOOKWAR ]

Ryan North has had a lot of fun lately making up book covers about me and the Star Tracks, but do you want to know what I think?

I think he’s just jealous because he can’t enjoy a piece of media without obsessively noticing, and then cataloging, every usage of English grammar that varies even the slightest from some imaginary perfect standard he’s obsessed with! Ryan, you have a DEGREE IN LINGUISTICS. I’d think you, OF ALL PEOPLE, would take a descriptivist view of language! But just check out THIS TRUE EXCERPT from this book I found in an abandoned nautical library:

Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Season 1 (1983)

Episode 1:

1:31: Amanda King: “I’ll be right back thank you dear” – Run-on sentence.

4:22: Amanda King: “Man in the red hat…man in the red hat.” – Sentence fragment.

10:48: Amanda King: “You certainly will not!” – Sentence fragment.

16:03: Lee Stetson: “Champagne?” – Sentence fragment.

16:59: Lee Stetson: “I’m sorry that this is…” – Sentence fragment.

17:37: Amanda King: “I just almost did the dumbest thing with your package.” – Awkward phrasing.

27:31: Amanda King: “Valley Forge flapjacks, pilgrim’s peach puff.” – Sentence fragment.

And on and on and on like this for – according to the cover – every piece of fiction between 1960 and 2010!

Let me tell you people: the type in this book is TINY

[ BOOKWAR ]

ryannorth:

I was poking around some boxes of my brother-in-law’s old stuff when I came across this INCREDIBLY AMAZING BOOK David wrote in… 1997, it looks like?  Star Trek TNG had been off the air for a few years, so the market would’ve been primed for a book about how to make your own episodes to fill the gap, including such tips as:
…set your alarm for when reruns air, and point your camcorder at the screen whenever the Enterprise D is in space.  You’ll be able to edit in any “establishing shot” you want, which will give your production an incredible air of authenticity!  Ensure that family members are quiet as you record to avoid accidental “voice overs”…
and
…try stopping the camera, then moving out of the frame, then starting the camera again.  You’ll appear to have been “beamed off” the planet instantly!  A simple line of dialogue explaining the “transporter upgrade” is all you need to make this effect both impressive and credible…
and in later chapters:
The character of Doctor Crusher is played by “Heavenly” Gates McFadden, whose phone number, I’m sad to report, remains stubbornly unlisted…
and
I don’t think Starfleet uniforms reveal enough skin
If you can find a copy, it’s worth a read!  It explains so much about David!
[BOOKWAR]

On page 74 I explain all about how to explain away the scan lines on the TV as phaser waves, OR DIDN’T YOU READ THAT FAR

ryannorth:

I was poking around some boxes of my brother-in-law’s old stuff when I came across this INCREDIBLY AMAZING BOOK David wrote in… 1997, it looks like?  Star Trek TNG had been off the air for a few years, so the market would’ve been primed for a book about how to make your own episodes to fill the gap, including such tips as:

…set your alarm for when reruns air, and point your camcorder at the screen whenever the Enterprise D is in space.  You’ll be able to edit in any “establishing shot” you want, which will give your production an incredible air of authenticity!  Ensure that family members are quiet as you record to avoid accidental “voice overs”…

and

…try stopping the camera, then moving out of the frame, then starting the camera again.  You’ll appear to have been “beamed off” the planet instantly!  A simple line of dialogue explaining the “transporter upgrade” is all you need to make this effect both impressive and credible…

and in later chapters:

The character of Doctor Crusher is played by “Heavenly” Gates McFadden, whose phone number, I’m sad to report, remains stubbornly unlisted…

and

I don’t think Starfleet uniforms reveal enough skin

If you can find a copy, it’s worth a read!  It explains so much about David!

[BOOKWAR]

On page 74 I explain all about how to explain away the scan lines on the TV as phaser waves, OR DIDN’T YOU READ THAT FAR

I changed the typeface I use for Wondermark in favor of one that I feel is more readable! I also changed my default template to a larger, 2-row shape so the characters and text can be bigger on narrower browsers, phones, and blogs like Tumblr here.

People hate change, of course! And I’m sure the few people who have complained to me about the type will get used to it over time. But I do think it’s worth asking if it’s possible that the typeface sucks and I can’t tell. 

What do you think? The new format/typeface up top; the old underneath!

I drew a Churchill
Missed Connections That Could Be Me But Aren’t – #7
I am a guy, and I go to Chipotle all the time, and often I stand in front of people in line (there’s often a line). I am also both (a) cute and (b) would probably never talk to someone in line at Chipotle.
The line about no carbs in salad sounds like it’s just dumb enough to be something I would say. I would also be very interested in trying a quesadilla burrito, so this conversation sounds right up my alley. 
However, this ad was placed in the San Fernando Valley category, which is many miles from my local Chipotle, which is in Marina del Rey. I have been to a Chipotle in Burbank before, which is technically in the valley, but that was around six years ago so the chances are slim that an ad is just now being posted about an encounter that long ago.
Also, I have no recollection of this conversation happening at on any occasion that I have been to any Chipotle, ever. So I’m reasonably confident that this is not me.
amazing
I’ve spent a lot of time with Ryan North. We’ve hung out plenty; I’ve slept over at his house; he’s slept over at mine; our wives are friends.
Despite being married, he’s got a certain flirtatiousness to him: he half-jokingly says “…Ladies” a lot, and is big into talking about parties and makeouts as the best things to do all day. So if I had to guess, I’d say he probably has a brain-train running on a somewhat saucy naughty-track most if not all of the time.
BUT NOW I KNOW FOR SURE. 
[ BOOKWAR ]

I’ve spent a lot of time with Ryan North. We’ve hung out plenty; I’ve slept over at his house; he’s slept over at mine; our wives are friends.

Despite being married, he’s got a certain flirtatiousness to him: he half-jokingly says “…Ladies” a lot, and is big into talking about parties and makeouts as the best things to do all day. So if I had to guess, I’d say he probably has a brain-train running on a somewhat saucy naughty-track most if not all of the time.

BUT NOW I KNOW FOR SURE. 

[ BOOKWAR ]

In a routine check for my surname in erotic fantasy fiction, I stumbled across this choice passage — from the novel Gryphon Rising by Jon Jermey.
Another excerpt, describing the statuary in Malki’s estate:

In the next chamber the walls were hung with verdant overripe greens, and the scent of tropical flowers hung in the air. “Malki Spellmaster” Eorl said quietly as they entered.
It looked as if the Elder had been homesick for a dream. Pillars here were carved into twisted organic shapes and the floor was strewn with thick rugs, piled on each other in a haphazard whirl of colours. Bright cushions were everywhere, and the chamber was warmer than the others. Khadreena caught the glint of gold and turned to examine a statue. She drew back disgusted. “By the Pit…”
"Don’t they do that in Borth?" Eorl asked, amused.
"They may do it." Khadreena said. "But they don’t make statues of it."
As they approached the centre of the chamber the greens intensified, the scents grew heavier, the ornaments costlier and more anatomically improbable. At last they were faced with what seemed to the largest sculpture of all, the bronze statue of a fat god sitting on a throne. Its hemispherical belly rolled beneath its folded hands, and its tongue protruded slightly beyond the lips of its pudgy hairless blank-eyed face. On the sides and back of the throne intricately-carved figures writhed and danced. Something about the figure made Khadreena shudder. “I don’t like Malki’s tastes.”
"He came from Far Xand." Eorl said, as if that explained everything. "But there’s no trace of him here." He looked at the statue more closely, carefully keeping his hands away from the smooth copper surface, and suddenly smiled. "He was always a trickster, Malki, as cunning as Daraban himself."

It’s like he knows the real me

In a routine check for my surname in erotic fantasy fiction, I stumbled across this choice passage — from the novel Gryphon Rising by Jon Jermey.

Another excerpt, describing the statuary in Malki’s estate:

In the next chamber the walls were hung with verdant overripe greens, and the scent of tropical flowers hung in the air. “Malki Spellmaster” Eorl said quietly as they entered.

It looked as if the Elder had been homesick for a dream. Pillars here were carved into twisted organic shapes and the floor was strewn with thick rugs, piled on each other in a haphazard whirl of colours. Bright cushions were everywhere, and the chamber was warmer than the others. Khadreena caught the glint of gold and turned to examine a statue. She drew back disgusted. “By the Pit…”

"Don’t they do that in Borth?" Eorl asked, amused.

"They may do it." Khadreena said. "But they don’t make statues of it."

As they approached the centre of the chamber the greens intensified, the scents grew heavier, the ornaments costlier and more anatomically improbable. At last they were faced with what seemed to the largest sculpture of all, the bronze statue of a fat god sitting on a throne. Its hemispherical belly rolled beneath its folded hands, and its tongue protruded slightly beyond the lips of its pudgy hairless blank-eyed face. On the sides and back of the throne intricately-carved figures writhed and danced. Something about the figure made Khadreena shudder. “I don’t like Malki’s tastes.”

"He came from Far Xand." Eorl said, as if that explained everything. "But there’s no trace of him here." He looked at the statue more closely, carefully keeping his hands away from the smooth copper surface, and suddenly smiled. "He was always a trickster, Malki, as cunning as Daraban himself."

It’s like he knows the real me

themachineofdeath:

For the Machine of Death Kickstarter, I offered some ILL-ADVISED REWARD TIERS that I am now obligated to fulfill! I already showed five games to a bunch of goats.

And now it’s time to do the one I’ve been putting off: Hand-writing an entire copy of the game, all 900+ cards.

I’m filming the process and will release an edited version later…But if you want to tune in to what is surely the WORST LIVESTREAM OF ALL TIME, here is the link!!!